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Who is Coises?

Randy, headshot, 2008 Name: Randy Fellmy
Internet name: Coises
Origin: The real “Coises!” was a black Persian cat who came to live with Carol and me in January of 1991 (just a couple months after he was born). He got the name through some inexplicable collision between The Three Stooges and Snidely Whiplash which took place only within our equally inexplicable heads. I got the name seven and a half years later when I first gained access to the Internet by signing up for a free month with AOL, and it was the only screen name I could think of that wasn’t already taken.
Pronunciation: COY-suhz, as if Curly from The Three Stooges were to exclaim, “Curses!”
Born: January 6, 1958, Indianapolis, IN, 1:28 am Central Standard Time
Ethnic Heritage:
Genetic: probably British and Greek (Riggs and Kakavecos)
Cultural: pure midwestern American (raised in a Chicago suburb by parents from rural Indiana)
Astrological Chart: Sun-Capricorn/3rd; Moon-Cancer/9th; Ascendant-Scorpio; Neptune and Jupiter conjunct and rising
E-mail: Webmaster@Coises.com

I was born in Indianapolis, Indiana, the eighth child of a couple who were separated. Another couple who knew my birth mother and were unable to have children of their own adopted me when I was six months old; they are the people I knew as Mom and Dad. I never met anyone from my birth family, and though I do know my genetic parents’ names, I’ve never sought to find them; frankly, I think one set of parents is quite enough.

I was raised an only child, with a more-or-less happy and not particularly eventful childhood. I attented Mohawk Elementary School, Blackhawk Junior High School and Fenton Senior High School, all in Bensenville, Illinois.

When I was around nine or ten, my parents bought a piano and had me begin lessons with an adorable older lady named Mrs. Kern. I had no idea why they did that, but I loved it... and I’ll always remember Mrs. Kern as understanding that the love of music was the most important thing she could teach; technique is worthless if the student loses the desire to use it. So I didn’t become a great pianist, but nothing I’ve learned in my life has brought me more joy than the grasp of music I gained while studying piano. I soon developed an interest in singing, as well; I got into every choral group I could in Junior High and High School. I also played clarinet in the band for a while.

All that music, plus a bit of summer school, got me enough credits to graduate High School with the class of 1975, though I would otherwise have been in the class of 1976.


I continued to sing in the choir at the University of Illinois at Chicago, and got used to pronouncing words in languages that I didn’t understand.

I knew, though, that I wasn’t prepared to try to make a life in music. I also discovered that I wasn’t cut out to be an engineer (my original major), but I turned out to be a natural at computer programming. (Back then, a computer filled an entire air-conditioned room; in my first computer class we keypunched cards.)

I also knew by then that I wasn’t a Christian. I didn’t know what I was (coming in or going out), but at least I got a better idea of the scope of the “God” question when you consider the whole range of human thought and not just one self-validating fragment of it.

I graduated from the University of Illinois at Chicago in 1979 with a Bachelor of Science degree in Math and Computer Science.


So I moved out of my parents’ house, got an apartment in the Rogers Park neighborhood of Chicago, and went to work programming IBM mainframe computers (mostly BAL and PL/1 under MVS/370).

I met Carol in 1980; after a couple years we got around to falling in love, and we shared our various homes in Chicago, Venice, Austin and Pittsburgh from 1982 until her death in 1993. She was 11 years older than I: an Aquarian, intelligent, beautiful and a limitless source of warmth, inspiration, education and anarchy.

In the summer of 1992 I was diagnosed with Systemic Lupus Erythematosus.

I’m not going into all the details, but 1990 through the first half of 1993 were a big ol’ slice of hell. By April of 1993 my lover was dead; I was no longer working, disabled with a chronic, incurable auto-immune disease; my father had also died, and circumstances were such that I wasn’t told until over a month later; and I lived in a town (Pittsburgh) where I knew no one except Carol’s parents and a couple of her friends (friendships that did not transfer to me).

But it was around the time I became ill that I began to try my hand at songwriting. I lived alone, in Pittsburgh, from April of 1993 until April of 1999, and worked on learning to use MIDI and simple home recording studio equipment. I learned a lot, and did some writing and recording. I also rediscovered computers, this time in the form of a personal computer and, later, an Internet connection.

In 1999 I moved to Chandler, Arizona (a suburb of Phoenix) to live with my best friend, DJ, whom I’ve known and loved since 1980. We have lived together for most of the time since. It’s hard to imagine where I would be now without her strength and support.

From mid-2007 through mid-2010 we lived in Costa Rica. The reasons DJ relocated are her story to tell; I moved because I was invited... and I couldn’t think of a single good reason not to take advantage of the chance to go. We’re now living in the South Summerlin section of Las Vegas.

At present, my primary endeavors are keeping my stress level down so my health doesn’t get more seriously screwed up than it already is; developing my songwriting skills; and dabbling in the various other things you can find on this web site.

Sex, Religion and Politics
Sex: male heterosexual
Religion: eclectic mix of atheism, paganism, Taoism and Hinduism; some teachings of Buddha and Jesus added to enhance flavor; may contain Discordian philosophy (to lower pH) and skepticism and/or agnosticism (to retard spoilage); absolutely no artificial colors, flavors, preservatives, or St. Paul
Politics: The closest designation I can find is Libertarian Socialist. However, I see politics as inherently incapable of producing satisfactory solutions to most of the problems it is charged with addressing; hence I have no real hope for further advances in human society until we develop something — and I don’t know what that could be — that renders politics as we know it impotent and irrelevant.
1958-1961Indianapolis, INwith parents
1961-1979Bensenville, ILwith parents
1979-1982Chicago, ILalone
1982-1984Chicago, ILwith Carol
1984-1990Venice, CAwith Carol
1990Austin, TXwith Carol
1990-1993Pittsburgh, PAwith Carol
1993-1999Pittsburgh, PAalone
1999-2003Chandler, AZwith DJ
2003-2004Mesa, AZalone and with DJ
2004-2007Hidden Valley (about 15 miles from Maricopa, AZ)with DJ
2007-2008San Rafael, Escazú, Costa Ricawith DJ
2008San Antonio, Escazú, Costa Ricawith DJ
2008Herédia, Costa Ricawith Manuel, Patricía, Andrea and Daniel
2008Bello Horizonte, Escazú, Costa Ricawith DJ
2008-2010Rohrmoser/Pavas, San José, Costa Ricaalone
2010+Las Vegas, NVwith DJ
Animal Companions

Quinn (the Eskimo), who was my friend since February of 1993, was put to sleep on 17 May 2001. Bobby, D.J.’s male orange tabby shorthaired cat, probably born in the fall of 1993, whom she saved from drowning after someone stuffed him in a garbage bag and threw him in the river, died of unknown causes on 2 May 2002. Nicky, a female African Grey parrot born 12 July 1993 who used to live with us now resides in a parrot sanctuary, where she can fly freely and has made friends with others of her species. Coises!, a black male Persian cat who was born in November of 1990 and from whom I took my Internet name, was put to sleep on 3 June 2005. Basil and Oliver, feline brothers born around 14 February 2002, are no longer with us: Oliver went for a walk in the fall of 2006 and did not return, and Basil stayed with some other cat-lovers when we left Arizona. Boss, a male Rottweiler born 30 May 2006, went back to his breeder on 11 March 2007. Mack “the Knife” Heath, a male Rottweiler born 16 November 1998, lived with DJ until his death on 9 March 2010. Charlie, an orange tabby cat born in January 2003, stayed with DJ and I until July of 2010.

Coconut Joe, a male Rhodesian Ridgeback / Terrier mix born 4 June 2004; Dexter, a Turkish Van who was probably born in 2008 or 2009; and Buddy, a mix of Dachshund and something probably born in 2010 whom we adopted on 30 January, 2012, live with us now.