Replaced

I got home from a hard day’s work a bit worse for the wear. Washed my face and brushed my teeth and combed my thinning hair. I went into the kitchen to get myself a beer. I found instead a note that read, “I hate to tell you, dear,

“We had good times together and I know this will be tough, But someone else has shown me that you’re just not good enough. I’m sorry, but our partnership no longer makes sense. You’ve been replaced by artificial intelligence.”

That girl and me, we used to be like two peas in a pod. I kept her motor running and she’d wax my fishing rod. She understood the cards and bills and made sure they got paid. I sang her songs, and cleaned the bongs and made sure she got... happy.

Now she has a new friend out there in cyberspace. She says it answers all her texts with tenderness and grace. She says it speaks six languages and plays some game called “Go.” She says it’s even good in bed. Man, I don’t want to know.

I knew she was the smart one and that never troubled me. I guess I underestimated new technology. I’m just a simple man, I’ll change the oil and fix the door, But now that everything’s online I’m starting to get sore.

I know I have a temper and I try not to get mad, But that computer took the finest woman that I’ve had. I’m twenty years a lineman for the power company: This surge will blow that data center clear to Tennessee.